"I Once Was Lost..."

I was at Pepperdine on Thursday night of last week (5-7), had just gotten my hamburger and was more than ready to sit down and dig in when I noticed a policeman standing and talking with two women and a man while writing something in his little book. The Pepperdine campus, during lectureship week was one of the last places I expected to see a policeman taking a report. Having seen way too many mystery movies, Murder She Wrote's, Perry Mason and Matlock shows and not to mention being a fanatical Quincy fan, my interest quickly changed from the hamburger on my plate to the reason for the policeman's report.

"Forgotten" ketchup became the excuse for my to slowly walk by the group and hear whatever I could (me, eavesdropping? No way!). On the way to the ketchup I heard "Well, he walks really fast, so if you see him, you need to move quickly." On the way back from the ketchup I heard "He said he was only going to get his checkbook!" The first thing that jumped into my mind was that a fast walking liar of a thief had stolen someone's valuable something. But, the women who were talking with the policeman didn't seem to be distressed enough to have just had possibly their purse taken from them. My Mom quickly caught wind of the situation as well, and we both kept our eyes and ears wide open for any clues. The womens' demeanor quickly changed from forced smiles to no smiles to tears. At that point, my Mom went over to one of the men (he wasn't crying : ) and asked what was going on.

When she came back, my Mom was also in tears. She said the older woman's husband had gone up to the dorms to get his wallet several hours ago and hadn't returned since. She also said her main concern was that he had the early stages of Alzheimer's and might possibly be lost somewhere on campus. At the mention that he had Alzheimer's, my Mom nearly broke down. My Grandfather (her Dad) has that same disease. Thankfully we haven't had to deal with him wandering away or getting lost yet, but no doubt the day will come when we will need to keep a very close watch on him.

Alzheimer's is such a strange, debilitating, frustrating disease of the mind. It steals people's minds slowly but surely. When someone has a disease like that which you know can only get worse with time, and especially when the victim is a relative, you know you should be spending as much time as possible with that person. Their time is ticking down, their clock is winding down, and you know you won't have much more time with them. But also, just the sheer frustrating side-effects of the disease can be enough to drive you away from the person. The constant forgetfulness. Asking the same question over and over and over incessantly.

But seeing and feeling the fear and near grief of the family who hadn't seen their Dad/husband in hours and knowing the potential that he could be lost for a long time, he could be hurt or very disoriented, kind-of shook all the frustration out of me. It made me realize that people with those kinds of mental diseases, and really any disease, still have so much to offer if we'll just stop, listen and accept what they have left.

A few months ago, my sister and I were outside in the backyard, playing with a rope, trying to lasso some things although we had no idea what we were doing. My Grandpa came outside and just lit up, because lassoing is something he knows how to do perfectly. He grew up on a farm in the middle of Mexico, so being around animals, controlling them and taking care of them is second nature to him. He immediately took the rope and showed us how to tie it properly, hold in our hands and throw it with confidence and good aim. Even though he showed us the same thing about 10 times before we went inside, that instance reminded me that he still has a wealth of knowledge in gardening, cooking, Mexican jokes, funny stories and even lassoing to show us if we'll let him.

After about 15 minutes of praying and keeping our eyes open for the lost man who walks fast, we finally heard a hoop and holler and found the man back with his group. What a great sight it was. He wasn't sure what all the fuss was about, or why everyone was hugging him and crying over him, but he had a big grin on his face and so did everyone else. Immediately these words starting circling in my head:

"Amazing grace, how sweet the sound
that saved a wretch like me
I once was LOST, but now I'M FOUND
was blind, but now I see..."

"If You Want Me To"

"The pathway is broken, and the times are unclear.

And I don't know the reason, why you brought me here.

But just because you love me, the way that you do,

I'm gonna walk through the valley, if you want me to.



'Cause I'm not who I was, when I took my first step.

And I'm clinging to the promise you're not through with me yet

and if all of these trials bring me closer to you,

then I will go through the fire, if you want me to.



It may not be the way I would have chosen,

when you lead me through a world that's not my own.

But you never said it would be easy,

You only said I'd never go alone.



So when the whole world turns against me,

and I'm all by myself,

and I can't hear you answer my cries for help.

I'll remember that suffering your love put you through,

and I will walk through the valley, if you want me to."
-Ginny Owens


I don't know about you, but the message in that song is really hard to live out. A few years ago, I heard someone say that sometimes that hardest thing to do in a difficult situation is to just go through it. Instead of bailing, and running away as fast as you can, to go through it until it's done, and learn what God wants you to learn. I think that in good situations and in bad ones, God allows us to go through the valley because He knows that if we cling to Him, and we don't stray, we'll come out of it stronger than if we had stayed on the mountain top.

Sometimes that is just so hard to do isn't it? When we are in a nasty situation that we are having such difficulty with, it's so hard to just sit and be still and ask "what is it You want me to learn in this?". Our gut reaction is to say "God get me out of here fast!! I'm miserable!" I figure, if I'm going to be going through this, I might as well learn something from it. It's a learning process to change my thought pattern from "rescue me!" to "If you want me to."

The Real American Idol

Yesterday, I was at Best Buy, helping a friend look for a camera, when I walked by a cardboard shelf that was advertising something related to American Idol. I didn't even see the product, all I saw was the top of the board that said in big letters "Idolize Yourself!" That immediately took my thoughts from Panasonic versus Canon and Wal-Mart prices versus Costco prices to "WHAT IN THE WORLD?!?!? Idolize MYSELF?!?!?"

I know it was just a play on words, but it really started me thinking how true that simple little idea really is in our culture. More and more it's all about "me" it's all about what I want, when I want it and how I want it. It doesn't matter if it's bad for me or someone else, or even just plain wrong, if I want it, then I somehow have a "right" to it.

If you think about it, so many websites are dedicated to the idea of you showing yourself to the world. YouTube, MySpace, Facebook, Twitter, blogging, and so many others are based on YOU. While that's not always bad (I go on YouTube, I am on Facebook, Twitter, and I blog), it's amazing but not surprising how our culture, on the Internet and off, caters to and dare I say, encourages, the ME attitude we all have.

This attitude and line of thinking actually has a rather official-sounding name: Secular Humanism. According to Dictionary.com, those two words mean:

"the doctrine emphasizing a person's capacity for self-realization through reason; rejects religion and the supernatural [syn: humanism]"

That definition sounds pretty scary to me. If I am the only source of self-realization, if my views are the only "true" ones, then can't every person come up with his own version of the truth? Who can say murder is wrong if I think it's okay (that's strictly an example only!!)? Why do I have to follow anything anyone else tells me to do if I can just make up my own rules?

This view of the world and of myself has to reject God or any superior being, because if there is a God, and He has laid the ground-rules for my life, then that means I can't "self-realize" anymore. That means He is telling me what is right and wrong, I can't just make it up anymore. That also means He is telling me who I am (and I mean really, how can it get any better than being the daughter of the Creator of the Universe? Really?) I'm not making up my own identity.

What a mess we would have if we all made up our own rules to life and living. I could jump out of a plane at 30,000 feet without a parachute and just believe in myself and try to convince myself that I could fly, but I when I have about 20 feet to go until I hit the ground, maybe I'll realize that somebody else made the laws of gravity and I can't just "self-realize" them out of existence. That is in effect what so many people are trying to do when they mess around with social order, nature, relationships and truth. They are basing the rules on their OWN thoughts rather than GOD's thoughts. So please, let's not idolize ourselves. We just get into huge messes when we do.

That's Allstate's Stand

A few months ago I was enjoying a quiet afternoon without much to do, so I was checking out a few listings on Imdb.com. I happened to be cleaning out my room around that time and had a bunch of random stuff sitting around, including a baseball given to me the first year I played on a team, the year I was 8. My two coaches were Coach Kerry and Coach Dennis. I had heard a few times that my Coach Dennis was supposedly a semi-famous movie star at the time. I say "supposedly" because my parents nor I knew him as a movie-star. We just knew him as my coach. I had never actually verified that he was a movie-star, but that didn't really matter when I was 8 years old, just learning how to swing and throw and field.

Coach Dennis was an especially patient person, which was needed on my team, since I was the only girl there! I remember quite fondly him teaching us the rules about pop flies, about foul tips, and him working specifically with me on my swing, which I got to be pretty proud of. I wish I had kept better track of a really neat photo I had with my two coaches, Kerry and Dennis on the last day of the season. They both could have been movie stars for all I knew, but all I cared about was that they had patiently and lovingly taught me the great American game, one they knew so well and passed on to all of us on the team.

So back to my aimless wanderings on Imdb.com. Seeing that baseball reminded me that if Coach Dennis was indeed a movie-star, he must have a listing on this site to prove it. So, I entered his name, and oh boy, yes, is he a movie-star. He has starred in numerous baseball movies, and many popular tv shows including The Unit, 24, and some old shows like Quincy, M.E. (which happens to be my favorite show of all time), and Laverne and Shirley. Besides that, he is the face of the Allstate Insurance company. He's the guy who always says "Are you in good hands? That's Allstate's stand." Click here to see a video of him in action: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VBAwXN8lS88&feature=related

So my coach was indeed a movie star! That was a neat thought, thinking that back when I was little, so oblivious to who he was and what he was "known" for, he had been my personal friend, coaching me in the fine points of baseball, cheering me on, and just being an all-around great person. It kind-of makes my memory of him even more special knowing that I didn't even know he was so well-known, and he didn't make that fact a big part of his ego. My Mom said that she once asked him what he did for a living and he quite simply answered "I'm an actor, what do you do?" He wasn't the type of person that walked around with a commanding presence, that you thought "Oh, he must be a well-known person of some kind!" He was just your average joe-blow who happened to be a very well-known actor.

In his commercials, Dennis always asks his viewers if they are in good hands, and I started thinking about that the last time I saw one of his commercials. How do I know I am really in good hands? Now, I know that he is referring to good insurance, but how do you know your actual soul is in good hands? If life insurance is important, how much more important is your life?

I was going to look for some obscure reference to life in the book of Habakkuk if I could find it, but then I realized that one of the most well-known (if not the most) scriptures of all time has the promise of life in it.

John 3:16 says "For God loved the world so much that He sent His one and only Son that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life." That means that when we become believers, we have the promise of God that we have eternal life. That means that our spirit (not our physical bodies) will never end, will never die, will never be gone. How much safer could you get than that? Knowing that even if your physical body dies (which it will someday), the essence of who you are, the part of you that makes you who you are, your soul, will still be alive, and with God is such an amazingly comforting thought. As a Christian, I know for a fact, that I am indeed in good hands. Are you?